8/14/11 Sermon

This weekend I get to preach on a text from Genesis about Joseph. I thought I would be cool to post it here on the blog since it not only references the blog, but makes a pop-culture reference as well. I also thought I would add the prayers I wrote for the service. Let me know what you think.

Prayer of invocation:

Creator God, please come into this space and prepare our hearts and minds for your word. Open our minds up for the clarity of your call on our lives and forgive our stubbornness when we do not follow those things which we already know. Open our hearts to the possibilities your love may be calling us to and forgive us when we choose to ignore your love. Thank you for your wisdom to know and your love to share. In your holy name we invite you into this space, Amen.

Recently, I have started a blog. The main focus of the blog is to illustrate how God can speak to us through the most unlikely of mediums, looking mainly at “secular” media, such as songs, tv shows, and movies. It is an interesting experiment and one I have a lot of fun doing.

While I was thinking about this message I toyed with the idea to do a skit as an introduction. I had the vision of how it would go and made an attempt to get there. All I can say is that my rough draft was, well, rough. Trying to come up with a way to correct my failed attempt and make it more understandable I realized that the research I do for my blog already discovered the skit written for me, better than I could ever write myself and from one of the best comedic minds of our times, Mel Brooks. You see, in his Sci-Fi spoof “Spaceballs,” Brooks writes a “who’s on first” type scene between one of the main bad guys Dark Helmet and his second in command Col. Sanders. In the scene the antagonists are trying to figure out how to track down and capture the good guys after they had just escaped. In order to find out where they were Col. Sanders tells Dark Helmet about instant cassettes, movies that are out before the taping is over. With this tape they could have fast forwarded to see how their journey was going to end, instead they forwarded through those parts of their journey that had already happened till they reached the location of their prey. Along the way they stop at a point in the video that was currently taping, everything they saw happening was happening. Confused, Dark Helmet asks for clarification on when that scene was happening, only focused on his future he could not understand the present. Confounded about when the past had happened and when they were going to know the future one of the funniest interactions of the movie takes place, Helmet becomes so confused during the interaction that even after our heroes’ location is discovered he has forgotten who has been located in the video. Once the location is found and Helmet’s confusion subsides they set off, with a destination in mind, on a basically unwritten journey. Although Helmet ended up confused from the instant cassette, it did offer him a lens to not only evaluate what had already happened in his journey, but to evaluate how to get to his envisioned end result.

In our Bible reading for today Joseph had his own lens that he interpreted his experiences through. That lens was his knowledge that the God of Abraham, Isaac, and his father Jacob loved him. Joseph had a lot of experiences that he had to interpret through this lens. Firstly, he grew up having visions and dreams that acted like instant cassettes telling him of future events, learning how to interpret these dreams resulted in interpretations that did not always sit well with his 11 older brothers, or others who asked him to interpret their dreams. His ability and how he shared it with others got him in trouble, despite any setbacks that he experienced he maintained his morality and continued doing what was right as a result of his life lens, remembering his vision from God that he would one day be in a position of power over all of his family.

Nothing that happened to Joseph was any worse than being sold into slavery, something that was perpetrated by his brothers none the less, as a result of the interpretation of his dreams! This being the first setback along his journey, Joseph made the best of a bad situation, using his talents he moved up in the ranks of the slaves to a position of power, managing the other slaves for a middle ranking official in Pharaoh’s court. He was then cut down again when he rebuked the advances of said official’s wife, who then framed him for attempted rape. While in prison his skills of interpretation gained him notoriety and despite the accusation of lying and attempted rape, he was still seen as a man of high character. Such a reputation gained him an audience with the Pharaoh which lead to his release from prison and the rise of power which allowed him the opportunity to provide for his family, bringing us to the reunion that our Bible reading for today takes place.

For every bad thing that happened to him, Joseph could have gotten mad and blamed God. He could have taken his gifts and wasted them, used them for evil, or just given up living his life. Consequently, if Joseph ever felt these things we are not privy to them because in the end Joseph looked at his life through that lens I mentioned above, that his God, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, his father loved him. As a result every human choice that was made made sense to him. He saw where he was and remembered his vision and concluded that the path that he took to get there was the path ordained by God. He was now in a position to celebrate with his family and provide for them, like no other could.

Ah, to have such clarity! To have such clarity of purpose, to know where God wants you to go, yet how frustrating!

See like Joseph we are forced to deal with the decisions of others and in that same vein we are forced to deal with the results of our own decisions. Romans 8:28 states “We know all things work for good for those who love God, who are called to God’s purpose.” In times of strife, when we are sold into slavery or turned on by someone we thought was a friend, or when we see something that doesn’t immediately speak to us from God, we might be asking ourselves how this is going to work out for good. We might ask why God would ordain such a horrible thing to happen. The present becomes very confusing and frustrating, possibly causing us to forget our goals or even the reason we set off on a particular journey in the first place. I don’t believe that is our bible readings for today or even Romans 8: 28 is trying to say that God forces an easy road or a road that makes sense while we are traveling along it. I believe that these verses tell us two things 1) God continues to work for good for us, despite the results of our decisions or those of others, God is an expert at turning Junk into art. And 2) If we look back through our lens of God’s love after we have reached a point of an envisioned future, it is easy to see how God worked, even through the worst things in our lives. Is it a perfect system? NO! When humanity is involved nothing is perfect, but God’s love is always trying to reconcile us back to God’s perfection. This is a purpose of the resurrection, to reconcile us back to God by walking alongside us and helping us through the muck in our lives.

We all have moments in our life where we have experienced setbacks in achieving some end goal! I know that I am currently trying to find the purpose of one such setback in my life. MY goal was to go to seminary this fall, but because my wife and I did not have the money to move we have had to postpone. This setback has compounded the complexity of the discernment process. Trying to discern the purpose of a failed goal isn’t easy, however like Joseph I have the lens of God’s love and I am maintaining the knowledge that God called me to become a minister. I have already had the opportunity to view my instant cassette through papers and essays I have had to write as part of the discernment process. Looking through my lens I have been able to see how God has carried me through some of the muck in my life towards the call of ministry, despite the wrong turns, like Joseph, looking through that lens it’s hard to call them wrong turns. For now, I need to continue living my life as positively as possible despite any current and future setbacks that happen along the way. Easier said than done, but then again, when some author wants to write my story I certainly hope that they write it the same way that I view it now, through the positive lens of God’s love which reconciles the muck.

Let us pray

YHWH, in this time of prayer we may have asked for clarity on a situation, we may have asked for help for a friend struggling in their life, we may have thanked you for a recent breakthrough in our lives. I want to thank you for hearing our prayers. I want to thank you for your mercy and I would like to thank you for your wisdom, for when we cannot find words you taught us a prayer to call out to you.

Prayer of thanks giving:

God of Abraham, thank you for sending your Son, Jesus, to walk with us through this life. Thank you for falling when we fall and lifting us up after. Life isn’t easy, it wasn’t for Joseph, it wasn’t Jesus, and it isn’t for us, but your love is steadfast and works to make things good. Be patient with us when we are down and do not lay our burdens on you. Remind us that you are greater and stronger and are with us always. In your hands we lay our burdens down, in your love we rejoice that you have walked with us through our lives, and in Jesus name we pray, Amen!

Peace and God's many blessings

Is Harry Potter a Magical Telling of Jesus' Story?

            Saviors, superheroes, synonyms for which humanity seems obsessed with. When you search through our lore, ancient and modern, you can see them throughout, but why? The answer is not cut and dry because it depends on the perspective you take. For some it might be a call for humanity to rise above itself and become something greater then it is, like in Hindu, Buddhism, or humanism; insomuch as these three ideas/religions call for humanity to do the work for themselves with little intervention on God’s part or even the idea that there is no God. However, I am none of these, as you know, I am a Christian and when I see these images I see God calling out to humanity who is calling out to God.

                These Images become a circular conversation between humanity and the divine. They remind humanity of the superhuman power that exist around us in God’s presence and for me, God is everywhere, working with us and through us, lifting us up, walking with us through this life. When I see these images I am reminded of the true superhero, Jesus, and what his story means for our lives. In the story of Jesus we find the perfect merger of the divine and humanity, reconciling all of humanity to the power and wonder of the divine.

                This obsession with understanding our relationship with the divine has most recently been explored in the lore of Harry Potter.  One could argue that a magical wizard could never be used to parallel the story of Jesus, but that is where we get short sighted.  There is nothing evil about Harry Potter and his story is very similar to Jesus’, as most superheroes’ are.

                I would like to make this very clear before I continue. This is not the pagans Jesus. The fact that magic is used does not negate the reality of the parallels and make them less valid. Furthermore, the use of magic does not mean that the parallels drawn were made to make a mockery of Jesus’ story. I would pose that unbeknownst to Rowling, whom I have never spoken to and cannot not quote in any manner of truly feeling this way, wrote this story as an exercise of demonstrating that the good in this world will always conquer the evil, which is in of itself a parallel to the story of Jesus. God works everywhere and in every way, even if we do not know that God is working through us.

                Let us start our exploration with the fact that the story of Harry Potter is an expose for all ages on, how the good in this world will always conquer evil. In every quest Harry defeated the evil in his way. Isn’t that what Jesus has done for us in real life? From the overall theme we can move to more specific examples of Jesus story.

                Probably the most telling is the resurrection of Harry in final book and movie. While Harry had to use magic to pull off this resurrection, Jesus only needed his Godliness to conquer death. Beyond the resurrection is the defeating of the bringer of death, in Harry’s case his name is Voldermort. I would also point out that what we call miracles can be considered magic. Jesus turning water into wine sounds like transfiguration to me.

                My point in all of this is to show you that God continues to work and continues to talk to us. We should never count something out merely because of the medium it uses to tell. If the message is bad, by all means avoid it, negativity breads negativity, but magic and wonder are all around us and are tools of YHWH. I challenge you and will continue to do so always to find new ways that God is talking to you.

As always Peace and many blessings

Lessons learned from a Matisyahu concert

Its been a little longer since my last blog then I would have liked, but I have actually gotten some enjoyment out of the summer in the last couple of weeks. I quiet enjoy being busy, at least being a good kind of busy. In my semi-adventures I had the opportunity to see Matisyahu with some new friends at a musical festival called summerfest. This is a huge festival in Milwaukee, WI with free stages, or as far as free goes when you have to pay to get into the festival, but that is neither here nor there. At the concert I had the pleasure of making my way to the front of the stage in hopes of getting a good view of Matisyahu's performance. What follows are the lessons I learned in the crowd of the Matisyahu concert.

Lesson 1: Follow the Leader. This lesson was learned in our effort to find a place to watch the concert. We designated Kat to lead, since she had been having good luck getting through the heavy crowds throughout the night. I followed her, being equally talented at getting through crowds, being short and wily. Behind me was Kat's husband Adam and another couple with us ( I do not remember their order). As we made our way through KAt and I kept our eyes forward assuming that the rest of our party was right behind us, which they were, that is, until they were sent on a detour by a party of concert goers rolling a joint. It was not until we were too far ahead that we could not see them behind us that we looked back to see if they were behind us. Upon this discovery we both asked each other what we should do and determined that we should press on and find a place to watch the concert.

While we were leading the pack, we did not do a good job of it. Good leaders make sure that everyone stays together and that you all arrive at your destination on time as planned. While we did not have a specific idea of the place that we wanted to stand, other then as close as we could get, we should have made sure that everyone got there. Our motives were purely based on how much fun we were having and not on the actual leading which we were tasked with.

Our leadership should have looked more like following the directions of the ones behind us. Now for those of us who are nonconformists might be scratching our heads as to how this is a lesson because we prefer to be leaders, forging forward, blazing new trails, instead of following one, or asking others input into where we are going, but the truth is following is as much a part of leadership as any other trait you can think of. In Jesus' teachings he often talked of the reversal of roles, where the weak are truly the strong, or how the meek will inherit the kingdom of Heaven. It is in Jesus teaching where we find plenty of encouragement for us to follow as well as lead. If you need direct verses, give the Beatitudes a closer look.

Lesson 2: Become undignified before the Lord, not inhospitable. In 2 Samuel 6:21 - 23 King David speaks to his wife about how his celebration, although undignified for a man of his position, is exactly the kind of celebration that pleases not only God, but also the peasants around him. In other words, King David was not afraid to get down and show God how he appreciated everything God had given him and how he enjoyed all of God's creation. In a crowd, such behavior has a fine line between the celebration that is a pleasing display of God's love and hurtful inhospitality that is not.
Story time. See, in an over exuberant crowd if you make it down in front and find some breathing room you are lucky. Finding a spot such as that is not the end of the story; however, you have to keep the spot and not get pushed out of the way. While we were in the thick crowd of people, Kat and I had to fend off people trying to push there way down further in the front, or people trying to find their party, constantly being jostled around. So a fight did not break out extreme amounts of hospitality had to be extended to your neighbor. You had to respect their space and be willing to give up your own to make room for someone trying to get through, either out of the crowd or deeper into it. If you are like me hospitality also meant protecting smaller people and females from getting run over by the rough current of the crowd. Unfortunately, some people did not do such things and made to ruin the time for others.

Lesson 3: Generosity. The parable of the good Samaritan gives us a good guideline for sharing the things we have with this in need. If you had been in the crowd of the concert you would have seen a many people demonstrating generosity. Puff, puff pass. Enough said.

While these are not all the lessons one could have learned from the concert and being in the thick crowd of people, but I think that is enough for right now. If you have not seen a Matisyahu concert, I suggest you do. If you don't know who I am talking about, I suggest you listen to his music because it is some of the best reggae music you have ever heard and each drop of it is dedicated to his love of YHWH.

For now Peace and God's many blessings

God's still speaking, but are we still growing?

Think about your church. What draws you there? Is it the way that they interpret the Bible? Is it the values that you share with them? Is it the old world church feel, sitting in wooden pews facing the sanctuary? Or, is it the rock music that ignites the Holy Spirit deep within  you? While the things that could attract you to your church and keep you there are not limited to these things, they do represent four distinct characteristics that contribute to the whole of a church community.

These ideas were brought to my attention by Doug Pagitt when I heard him speak at the WI conference of the United Church of Christ two weekends ago. His talk introduced us to the ideas in his new book "Church in the Inventive Age." If you would like to know more about this book or purchase it, check it out here. In this book and during his talk Doug breaks down the components of culture into the four categories that I represented above with the four questions. As Pagitt puts it, culture, or for our purposes church, are broken down into four categories: our knowledge, our values, our ascetics, and our tools. So, whats the point? Well, the point is that each cultural age brings with it a different church age that is defined by a highlighting or adapting of a particular category, changing the "feel" of church for that time. As each age gives way to a new age it leaves behind churches that do not necessarily follow the transition into the new age.

This lack of transition is not a bad thing. It allows for areas to define themselves and determine what is going to make up their church culture instead of feeling like they need  to conform to the needs of others outside their community. Not everybody can be the same, which is always a good revelation, but what I would like to talk about is the problem with evolving in one area and not in others.

In the UCC our slogan is, "God is Still Speaking." This speaks miles towards what our congregations feel comfortable with evolving within our denomination. What I am saying is that within the UCC we are more comfortable with evolving our knowledge base, the way we interpret the Bible, and what values are sacrosanct as a result of our reinterpretations. Keeping this in mind, when one thing is allowed to evolve, something gets left behind. In the case of the UCC, I find that how we worship; place, time, style, and tools; is stuck in a time warp. This works for some, but I believe an evolution is due.

I love my denomination. I love what it stands for and who it stands up for. I love the fact that everyone is welcome within the walls of our denomination. That is unless you are young/a young thinker that gets bogged down from an "old" worship community. I mean no disrespect in this regard, but I do not see an evolution within the ascetics and tools that we use. A majority of our churches are designed straight out of "Little home on the prairie," They tend to be very monochromatic in both visual ascetics and musical selection.  I think this comes from a scary statistic, it is an "old" denomination. Not in its existence, but literally in the age of the members.

See I have seen this reality first hand. When I went to the state conference I was the youngest person in the room. I wasn't the only one with piercings, but I most certainly was the only one sporting a mohawk and tattoos. While these things are not exclusive to the young of heart or age they can be considered good indicators. To take this one step further, my pastor even challenged me to find at least one person with a similar disposition as myself, tattoos and one other distinguishing characteristic, needless to say, I failed in my mission. That is not bad, but it does make it hard for someone like myself to feel welcome, even among the welcoming.

Change is never an easy thing and should not be done for no reason at all. That being said, in this instance I believe it needs to be done because sooner or later the denomination will just die out. Our young thinkers will get pushed out and be forced to form their own churches and we will be left without leadership going forward into the next era.

Our current leadership believes in "grey" thinking. Another way to say this is they do not believe that every answer is going to work for every person. In this same regard, shouldn't we have the same thought process about our services? Why are our places of worship cookie cutter copies from the past? Why do we not have a service later in the day then 10:30a and during the summer, when we go down to one service, is that service actually earlier then our late service? Why is our music right out of old hymnals? I think you get the picture.

I will be honest, I don't have the answers to these questions. In some areas doing a later service will work and in others it will be rejected with the force of a thousand suns, but shouldn't the options be there? I know that some of our leadership is willing to try new things, which is awesome, but we need to let our parishioners know that they are allowed to think outside the box. If we don't make it known that it is OK to want to change things, then we are going to drive creativity out our doors, even in welcoming and affirming churches.

Its like the scene in "Gleaming the Cube," where Christian Slater's character cuts his hair and throws all of his skater clothes away for preppy clothes, so he can fit in his dead brother's world and get close to his girlfriend. In the end, the only way he was able to save the girl and solve the murder was to be who he was, a skater punk. We need our "skater punks" in our churches, as themselves, so we can move forward. Even King David refused to stick with the status qua and worshiped in progressive and undignified ways, refusing to succumb to the wishes of his wife. We need to worship with the same disregard for the dignified, or at least have that option to. Here is hoping that those who are bored with the same "old" church speak up and help to move it forward.

-Peace and God's Blessings

"I hate this argument"

Just a few minutes ago I posted a twitter " I hate the argument: 'I hope there isn't a God, because the he is a CRUEL son-of-a-bitch!'" Little did I know that this post would lead me into one of the best conversations I have had on twitter and strike up two of the most concerned Facebook posts I have received in awhile. This left me the idea to discuss where this post came from in a blog.

The first thing I need to point out, I most recently heard this argument on a TV show I am watching called "Jeremiah." It is a post-apocalyptic show with strong theological themes and in one scene a woman who was crippled, due to broken bones, something that wouldn't have happened before the big death, was having a conversation and blamed God for everything using my quote from above. The kicker, even in this show the virus that killed everybody was not something natural like MRSA, but instead it was an engineered virus created in a lab that got away from containment. So, even in this it was mans decision not God's, but God did spare the children from the great death and like moses and Noah a few chosen adults were spared as well.

That should give you enough detail about the show to continue this blog, without bogging it down in great detail. I also believe that this sets up why that argument is one of my pet peeves. It does not accept human culpability for our actions.

God gave us this world and created us in God's image. This means a lot of different things, but for this discussion I am speaking about our ability to create. Part of our creativity is a responsibility to our creations. Unlike God, there are limits to our creativity. However, we both have the ability to create community, which means we are responsible to each other. To continue my logic puzzle we learn from physics and observation that for every action there is an opposite and equal reaction, but that reaction is not a simple mirror reflection. Using this imagery, its like looking into a mirror and seeing someone else's reflection back. Where God has autonomy we do not, even though God does not choose to act in that manner. Consequently, our actions will never be autonomous, unless we place ourselves into a vacuum.

So, when someone says that they hope God does not exist because then God would be a mean son-of-a-bitch, they are saying that God is responsible for every action that man takes, taking away our free will. This is not my experience of God or an interpretation that I mesh well with. I have experienced the evils of humanity and know that even in the darkest hour it is still brighter with God then it is when I gave up on God. In those dark days I tried going at it alone and I learned that it was not God who allowed bad things to happen but our actions that have negative consequences.

I know that some have things happen to them that are outside their control. Others made decisions that effected them or a natural disaster happens and their life is decimated. I know how easy it is to blame God or an understanding of God that we have come to know, but there are many different images of God and our understandings of those images are partly shaped by our experiences.

I am always moved when I see survivors of a natural disaster come together, help each other, and rebuild what they have lost. I am moved even more when they are thankful for their lives instead of condemning their creator for what they have lost. it takes a long way back from tragedy and no one can be expected to be happy with God in the face of negative circumstances but to put so much fault on God does not remove human culpability.

Finally, I was reminded about Job's story during my twitter-sation. I was reminded not to be one of his friends and I had to stop and think if that was what i was being. I was happy to be able to say that I can continue to boast being someone who is least likely to be accused of that. I have many a time raged at God for the hand I get dealt and I also know my God is big enough to take it and loving enough to comfort my pain. In Job, God did let the opposer do major harm to Job. what i believe we should take away from that story is that God wanted Job to get angry. even in his anger Job never forgot who his God was and said that to his friends. I don't expect you to go to worship and praise a God you are angry at, I would even suggest stay away if you are not in the right frame of mind to worship, but you should TALK  to God and you should talk to friends who can just be and be there for you.

I also like to remember that the uniqueness of the Christian perspective is that Jesus means that we do not have to live or fail alone and that God is always there, even if we have top deal with the consequences of someone else's actions.

As always -peace and God's many blessings

Another Poem:

When I Met Death

It was late or early in the morning

I looked outside and noticed an eerie light

At least it wasn't boring

The moon or street lamp illuminating the night

Even though I couldn't sleep

I laid my head down and closed my eyes

I tossed and turned, laying in a frustrated heep

I changed my mind and started to rise

I looked and there stood a man in black

where there wasn't a minute before

I said hello to the mysterious man, cutting him no slack

the man turned chilling me to the core

But to my surprise it wasn't a skull to great me

instead it was Johnny Cash

that came to collect my soul's fee

frozen stone cold I was unable to dash

Johnny flashed that famous smirk when I asked

What are you doing here?

In Florida's  hot sun is where death basks

So, I'm filling in, have no fear!

You came to collect my soul, but why?

because your a fan, was his reply.

You drank and drugged and lived a long life

Don't you think I'm too young to die?

Johnny answered again:

I know what your saying

but its not my call

and i have to add in this matter the big GUy isn't playing

So, I better not drop the ball

How can this be?

I haven't seen the world!

I am only Thirty

as I spoke my fist curled

Woa! Wait a minute Boy!

before you get ruff

in this task I take no joy

I didn't mean to put you into a huff

despite your age

you have touched the hearts of many

when you turn this next page

what you taught them will be remembered plenty

See, son, you don't have to worry

in the morrning you may be gone

from tears their eyes may be blurry

but they will know how to sing your song

Speaking of which, it is time to go

I'm singing tonight with good ol' June

She hates to be alone to start the show

so, I have to get to the Pearly Gate Hall soon!

I am pretty sure you don't have a choice

but if your still not down

just use your voice

and later in life is when i'll be back around

I wasn't one for rules

so, let me tell you one more thing before I go

just because you have seen death don't be blue

live your life like there aint no tomorrow

You know just one more truth

you live forever in your loved ones hearts

so, don't be afraid to be a goof

they are the fruits that show your smarts

I know this seems a little heavy

but Johnny really let me live

all because I wasn't ready

a second chance he did give

his exit was as awesome as his act

in one turn he was playing

being introduced as the man in Black

is what the announcer was saying

Oh, what a sight

to see Johnny fade away

his music filling the night

on my pillow my head still lay

although I was conscious

the entire concert I got to hear

now wondering what was like on his bus

forgetting about this I did not fear

So, When m\y wife awoke i told her

the music and his words fresh in my head

she asked if I was sure

As sure as I am that I'm in this bed

She was Jealous of my interaction

torn over her mixed feelings

trying to find some satisfaction

unsure of my revealings

you dream about Cash

What do I get?

 Glimpses that are gone in a flash

could put a normal person into a fit

I will praise God

that you are hear another day

and Johnny Cash

For not taking you away!

Why isn't Church like a Punk Concert?

I just got done listening to a sermon from Jay Bakker that he gave this last Sunday, June 5th, 2011 at Revolution NYC. In this sermon he spoke about accepting our faults, just as the disciples had accepted theirs. By accepting our faults and avoiding a disguise of perfection, we better live out a grace filled life. He pointed out that this is where the church fails it members, it forces us to hide who we are because even the darkest thoughts that pop up with in our brains are part of who we are.

For many of us, our dark sides are a lot more noticeable then others. They cannot hide it from the outside world because it is something beyond their control, like bi-polar disorder, something I am very familiar with, as my wife is one of the many people in the world who suffers from this disorder. My heart breaks with the recognition that the only thing that can be done is to try to control the disorder with meds and therapy. It breaks even farther when the medications fail and my wife spirals to the point of self hatred. It is this self hatred that really caused Bakker's message to stick with me.

My wife is not the only one who hates things about themselves. I also have a laundry list of things that I hate about myself that make accepting God's grace harder and I believe makes my ability to forgive those around me harder. In fact my anger and ability to hang onto my anger are two things I hate about myself. In this we are in good company.

Considered one of the greatest of all the apostles, Paul had much to hate about himself, but he still had one the greatest connections to God recorded and he didn't even learn directly from Jesus as his contemporary did. I believe that one thing that separates Paul from most of Jesus' present day followers is that Paul straight out spoke about what he hated about himself, he confessed to his dark side, and he never, never let anyone forget it! Take what he says about himself in 1 Timothy 1: 15; " This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: 'Christ Jesus came into this world to save sinners' - and I am the [WORST] of them all (NLT)!" To steal some imagery from Bakker, this is like Paul's AA meeting.

If church was more like an AA meeting, church services might be more supportive for the worshipers. They might be able to get beyond hiding their sin from each other, they may just be able to accept God's grace and spread that grace to those that they meet. After all, God does love us no matter how sinful they are. Just think about John 3:16, that is how much God loves us. So, if God can love us in our sinful state, why can we not love ourselves and others and God commands us to?

I want to leave you one last thought. Take a look at all of the alternative groups that a person can belong to from being a punk, to a member of a fraternity, or even a gang and an obvious pattern arises. These groups accept you for you and all of your freaky thoughts. You become a member to have a family who takes care of you no matter what. Why isn't the church or our families as accepting? Why is it that we have to search out groups that will accept us when the Church should always, always be that group?

In this final thought I couldn't help but think of some lyrics by Linkin Park. Recently, Linkin Park's songs have had a lot todo with reconciliation. They seem to be calling out to us to give them a reason to change the way that they see that they should. I think one such song that speaks to what Mr. Bakker and myself are speaking about is "New Divide." My understanding of these lyrics is that our singer has seen the grace that God offers, but two things are holding him back from accepting that grace: 1) the representatives of God are not offering what they see is possible in God and 2) the singer themselves cannot reconcile the grace offered with those things that they have done. I will leave you with the lyrics so you can decide for yourself if my assessment is correct.
-Peace God's many Blessings upon you

"New Divide"

I remembered black skies
The lightning all around me
I remembered each flash
As time began to blur
Like a startling sign
That fate had finally found me
And your voice was all I heard
That I get what I deserve

So give me reason
To prove me wrong
To wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross
The distance in your eyes
Give me reason
To fill this hole
Connect this space between
Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies
Across this new divide

There was nothing inside
The memories left abandoned
There was nowhere to hide
The ashes fell like snow
And the ground caved in
Between where we were standing
And your voice was all I heard
That I get what I deserve

So give me reason
To prove me wrong
To wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross
The distance in your eyes
Across this new divide

In every loss in every lie
In every truth that you deny
And each regret and each goodbye
Was a mistake too great to hide
And your voice was all I heard
That I get what I deserve

So give me reason
To prove me wrong
To wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross
The distance in your eyes
Give me reason
To fill this hole
Connect this space between
Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies
Across this new divide
Across this new divide
Across this new divide